i've moved

moving is the worst! especially when you have over 100 lbs of luggage with you... you know erykah badu's song, "bag lady?" every time i find myself moving around, i think about this song. (and of course i had to go shopping yesterday!)

my driver who was supposed to arrive at 7 never came. ugh, but everything happens for a reason, right?

my taxi driver, whose name i've forgotten, might be one of the most interesting strangers i've ever shared a few moments with. in new york, i've had many cab drivers who speak of their home country in africa, who don't understand why their people here act poor or ghetto to gain attention, who play metal full blast at 2 am, who left a beautiful country marred by civil war, who try to get the boy i am with to buy me their bracelets ("but it's 3 for $1!"), etc etc.

but this sicilian guy last night... he told me his father was killed in the mafia. his brother moved to new york (and i would assume, is still in the mafia). he came to france with 2000 francs and slept on park benches in the rain. he said his dream was to marry an american woman. he said he left his whole family, and if he returns to italy, he will be killed. he said it made him sad to see me upset because he remembered what it was like to have people look at you and not care about you. i felt pathetic. here i am near tears that i waited forever with all of this crap that i carried down three flights of stairs and around the corner and whatever. yet here is someone else who has full on been homeless and feeling sorry for me.

this made me also think about the american dream. thursday, at my birthday dinner, this commercial kept coming up about getting a visa or a green card. i am thinking, who wants to work in america? your euro is stronger, what might we have to offer? it is one thing to experience the american dream in your own country- the dream to obtain more, to get from low to high, they want the green light at the end of the dock, etc. but how does the american dream translate to other countries? especially at a time like this when we are getting severely bad press. it is inspiring to know that everyone seems to be secretly rooting for us. they are watching our elections with close detail. they want to move to america. america is cool. some have even said exotic.

this also arises the question of homelessness. in america, the government has a few programs to deal with poverty, but it largely relies on its people to create charities to help the situation. in france, the government goes to much greater lengths. the french want their government to take care of it. because i know this, i don't feel the need to donate as much. tourists, i'm sure, have no idea, which is why people come up to you at the eiffel tower, ask you if you speak english, and hand you a card that says "i'm poor. please give me money." there is a bum who is at the station closest to my agency everyday at 5 pm. since i can't give him money, i tried to look at him and smile politely, at least be nice. he got mad one day and called me a salope (bitch). i don't smile at him anymore. a girl i know said she would bring her local homeless woman hot tea every morning, which i think is great. it's really hard to look at these women sometimes and pass by... however, in america you get tax breaks for charity work, but because i am paying taxes in france, i know some of this goes to programs for the homeless.

then i started to think that i am a little nervous taking a guy so closely entwined with mafia members anywhere near a models apartment. fortunately he dropped me a block away... but not before asking if he could massage my feet and ripping me off 60 euro. ew.

it was a strange night. regardless, i am happy to be somewhat settled now in the lower 16th. apparently this area is quite nice; i saw a lotus and a ferrari dealership on the way to the metro. ha! i will note that many people have also called the area boring.

<3